Island Living on Caye Caulker

I’ve been out of the country. I’ve been to the beach. I’ve been to Disney World. I’ve even been to the Caribbean. But I’ve never been anywhere that made me feel like I was on a real vacation the way Caye Caulker did.

I planned my trip to Belize to revolve around scuba diving, and my itinerary included sending it the night I arrived, enjoying a beach day, completing my advanced open water scuba course over the following two days, then venturing out to either the Blue Hole or Turneffe Elbow for a third day of diving before flying home the following afternoon.

I had my sidekick, Jlin, with me, ready to take on whatever, but I came to find out that the beauty of Caye Caulker is you don’t need an itinerary to do whatever you please.

Getting to Caye Caulker

The process of getting to Caye Caulker once landing in Belize City is very straightforward. The airport is so small, you really can’t mess up finding your way outside to the taxis. Make sure you stop for a sample of rum (or three) at the duty free store right next to baggage claim before you leave the airport. It’s the perfect way to welcome yourself to Belize while you wait for your bag.

After arriving at the ferry terminal and buying our water taxi tickets ($10 USD), Jlin and I have some time to kill before our water taxi departs for Caye Caulker, so we sit for a traditional Belizean meal of stew chicken, rice and beans at Anna’s Lunch Box. This includes a happy hour beer bucket of Belikin (six beers) for $5 USD. Our server gives us plastic cups so we can drink the rest of our beers on the ferry.

The water taxi over to Caye Caulker from Belize City is incredibly scenic – I’ve never seen such stunning turquoise water in my life. I have the sudden urge to jump overboard.

On the ferry, I meet a girl who just flew in from Denver as well and a couple of American Airlines pilots who just flew in from Houston for a long weekend, no accommodations booked. Amazing. Since the island is so tiny, we don’t even exchange contact information as we’ll without-a-doubt run into each other at some point (and we do, about a dozen times).

Once we reach the island and disembark, it’s a short stroll over to our hotel, the Caye Caulker Plaza Hotel, to check in and get ready to go exploring.

The vibes here are amazing – I love the look and feel of everything. It’s nothing like an island resort, but everything and everyone exudes relaxation. We start at the north point of the island and barcrawl our way south. Here’s the rundown of our bar crawl:

• Lazy Lizard in a nutshell: fun outdoor bar, overpriced drinks, happy hour drink deal is the Panty Ripper, which is coconut rum and pineapple juice.
• Margarita Mike’s. Stop by for “the best margaritas on the island” (even though it’s the only margarita I had on the island, I will second this). The bartender let us use her phone to queue up songs, and the seating around the bar is swings!
• Bambooze. This place is closed half the time because they have a hard time generating business (it’s rough being right nextdoor to the popular Sports Bar), but we stopped in to experience their Bambooze shot, a dark blue, syrupy liquid. Even as a retired bartender, I could not tell you what is in it.
• Sports Bar. Get here early and stick around to watch the patrons progress into obliteration. The “live music” is a drunk older gentleman stomping his feet and yelling into the mic. Then, an actual DJ takes over around 9pm. This place closes at midnight, and everyone walks over to Rasta Bar for afties.
• Rasta Bar. Dark, loud club-esque bar blasting reggae until 1 or 2am. There’s cover on weekend nights.

Things you should know about Caye Caulker so far:

• The taxi from the airport to the water taxi (to get to Caye Caulker) should cost no more than $25 USD. I was actually able to get a cab back to the airport for $20.
• Make sure the license plate of the cab is green, which signals it’s a legitimate taxi.
• Sidenote, you have to have a printed boarding pass to get through security when departing from Belize City airport.
• Belikin beer comes in bottles that hold less than the US standard of 12 ounces of beer. I felt mildly scammed.
• The Caye Caulker Plaza Hotel is a super solid place to stay – they have powerful A/C, 24-hour staff at the front desk, and big water dispensers available for guests in the lobby. Their website highlights their rooftop, but there wasn’t seating or anything to do up there but stand and stare at the water for a minute.
• All the bars I mentioned will have drink prices similar to what you’d pay in the US, so your best bet is to buy a cheap bottle of rum from a convenience store and pregame before going out if you want to save a bit of cash.
• Dogs run the island. I even witnessed strays attack a tourist’s dog while it was walking past on-leash.

Advanced Open Water Scuba Diving Course in Caye Caulker

I actually cannot comprehend how perfect the weather is the morning of our first day of diving. We meet Mario, our dive instructor, once we arrive at Frenchie’s Dive Shop, and he has us put together our gear so we can start loading up the boat.

I haven’t scuba dived for almost six months, so naturally, I have forgotten everything. I try attaching my first stage (the thing you breathe out of underwater) backwards. Class is going really well so far!!

Today we’re doing our boat diving, underwater navigation, and peak performance buoyancy control dives. Boat diving is going to be different than any kind of dive excursions I’ve done because I’ve never dived off such a small boat.

It’s just me, Jlin, another guy named Jonathan taking the course with us, Mario, and another guy helping out with navigation, docking, and getting us in and out of the water safely.

I didn’t take any seasickness medicine because the ride to our first dive site is just ten to fifteen minutes. Naturally, I’m starting to get seasick anyway by the time we get to our spot, even as Mario is commenting on how calm the waters are today.

Mario tells me I’m welcome to roll in first and descend to help with the seasickness rather than stay at the surface, bobbing with the waves. I happily backroll into the ocean.

I’m hit with some anxiety as I resurface and try to mentally prepare for my descent. It’s hard to concentrate when you’re seasick. Mario also weighted me with three or so less pounds than my last dive, so I’m a little nervous about being able to sink. Less weight makes sense today, since I was wearing heavier gear last time, but it’s still a mind game.

It’s all about controlling your breathing, and I’m able to descend by repeatedly exhaling fully and inhaling a small breath before exhaling fully again. Skillful scuba diving is so technical, which is what I love about it.

We all meet underwater and spend 45 minutes gliding along a reef 50 to 60 feet deep. Good thing my mask is fogged up the whole time!! While that did suck, just the feeling of being back in scuba gear and scoping out the ocean is enough of a thrill.

Shark Ray Alley

Back on the boat, Mario asks if we’ve been to Shark Ray Alley yet. Jlin and I say no and just look at each other; we’re both against the feeding of the animals there, which is what attracts them in the first place. We were not planning on going there at all, but Mario exclaims, “Well then, let’s go!!”

It actually is cool snorkeling with the stingrays and nurse sharks (I really want to scuba dive with sharks, but the big critters – nurse sharks are small bottom feeders).

I also can’t help but laugh out loud at the snorkeling tours that surround us; the boats are all crammed with tourists, and the strong smell of sunscreen wafts off them as they pass by. Mario makes fun of them with us as we lounge out in the sun and snack on fresh pineapple before our next dive.

Paying Like A Tourist

Back on land, we decide to check out Wish Willy’s for dinner. Even though the current exchange rate is $2 Belizean dollars for $1 US dollar, it’s easy to get trapped into spending money like a tourist. Prices are marked up at most of the popular restaurants like Wish Willy’s, and most places on the main streets. On the other hand, you can find gems like Jenny’s To-Go Stand or Erolyn’s House of Fry Jacks and get a massive, stuffed fryjack for $2.50 USD.

We meet a family from Colorado at Wish Willy’s, and the dad starts telling us about how they are getting their 10 year-old son scuba certified. I didn’t even know junior-level certifications were a thing? I can’t imagine a 10 year-old learning how to self-sufficiently scuba dive, and I’m not clear on what this certification actually qualifies a 10 year-old to do. Crazy parents, if you ask me.

Food in Caye Caulker

Things you should know about the food in Caye Caulker so far:

• Check out Jenny’s to-go stand or Erolyn’s House of Fry Jacks for fryjacks. Get ham or bacon in yours – it’s so succulent. (Jenny’s is superior, in my opinion.)
• Look out for the banana bread man! He sells coconut pastries too, both for $2 BZD.
• Everything is less salty and sweet than you’ll be used to if you’re coming from the US.
• Wish Willy’s is probably the most popular spot to check out for BBQ according to the internet, but we had better ceviche at the Ceviche restaurant, which only serves ceviche. Willy’s also costed us $15 USD for a meal, and he’s got warm beer for $2.
• Chef Kareem’s was also mediocre – the meat was super dry. You’ll pay about $12/plate here.
• Ice & Beans has great coffee, but their milkshakes are more like icees, so don’t get a milkshake unless you actually want an icee. Loved the service here, though!
• Fran’s BBQ has unlimited rum punch for Thirsty Thursday – I think this means free bottomless.
• Dee N D’s Waterside Grill was my favorite spot. I recommend the lemon garlic snapper fillet and jerk pork chops. Definitely check this place out during sunset!
• The service is good but super slow everywhere, so be prepared to wait 35 minutes to an hour for your food (no exaggeration). Put your phone away, have a couple beers, let the warm breeze calm your mind, and look your friends in the eyes as you talk about life in the most relaxing place on earth.
• Bring tums, just in case.

“If you can scuba dive in that, you can scuba dive in anything.”

It’s day two of scuba diving, and we’re doing our deep water dive today – my most-anticipated dive of the course. There’s something so exhilarating about being 100 feet under the ocean’s surface, and I’m so intrigued about experiencing narcosis at depth. I’m hopped up on dramamine and caffeine and ready to go!

Some parents…

As we’re setting up the boat, Mario tells us about how a family came in to the shop yesterday to complain about him because he refused to certify a 10 year-old boy. Jlin and I can’t belize it – it’s the same family we just met last night.

Apparently, the boy has a history of lung issues and surgeries that put him at risk while scuba diving in the first place, and he was really struggling with his gear and skills. So out of regard for his safety, Mario called it, and the parents were pissed at him for caring about their child’s safety. Unbelizable!!

Eight to nine foot waves

Compared to the “calm” waters yesterday, today’s weather out on the ocean is no joke. Yesterday, Mario told us a story about losing his boat while out diving in six to seven foot waves. Our boat today is getting absolutely sloshed around on the choppy waves, and I ask him what they’re at today. He says eight to nine feet. Dear god.

I’m legitimately getting seasick despite having taken plenty of dramamine. We have trouble anchoring the boat for a minute, then as soon as we’re secure, Mario lets me go in first again to get down and out of the waves.

I backroll right into the rollercoaster of water rocking the boat. The current takes me immediately as I try to get my bearings, dragging me towards the back of the boat. I try to exhale to sink, but my anxiety is causing me to take several quick breaths in, which counteracts any full exhalations I do manage. On top of that, it feels like the current is pulling me back to the surface anytime I start my descent.

Next thing I know, I’m right up against the boat’s propellers, and I freak out, swimming hard away from the boat and against the current to avoid getting smashed into them by the waves. Mario yells at me to stop using my arms to swim so I don’t tire myself out. I send myself into focus mode – I really need to descend and drop to where the current weakens!

It helps to see the guys descending just ahead of me since the visibility is relatively poor underwater. I’m finally able to get down and meet them at the mooring line (the rope the anchor is attached to), where we all continue our descent.

Maybe I’ll stay down here forever

The current weakens the deeper we go, but even at 80 feet, I feel like I’m drift diving as the current effortlessly pushes me through a channel of reefs. We slowly progress to 100 feet, where I start feeling semi-narc’d and have the thought that hm, maybe I’ll stay down here forever!!

But we don’t stay long enough for me to do anything silly. We slowly make our way back to the boat, where I have to time the pull of the current so I don’t miss the exit ladder. Once we’re all safely onboard, Mario exhales and says, “If you can scuba dive in that, you can scuba dive in anything.”

And with that, we’ve passed our advanced open water scuba diving course in the most dramatic way possible! We’re all poured copious amounts of rum punch as we cruise back to land. Mario jokes about getting us so drunk, our certification card photo looks like a mugshot by the time we take it.

The worst news I’ve ever gotten

We’re greeted with the most horrible news I’ve ever gotten once we’re back, though: all dive excursions scheduled for tomorrow have been canceled due to the weather. Winds, and as a result, the current, are anticipated to be even worse tomorrow. I become a sad drunk very quickly.

The guys at Frenchie’s tell us Belize Diving Services is our best bet if we still want to go scuba diving tomorrow, since they have boats big enough to handle the waves. We run over to see if they have any spots available, but they’re all booked up, with an extensive wait list. I guess I won’t get to see the Blue Hole this time around.

Things you should know about Caye Caulker so far:

• I highly recommend Frenchie’s Dive Shop for any scuba excursions. Not only did I have an amazing experience (check out their Google reviews to get a few second opinions), but the locals also spoke highly of them anytime I asked about the different dive shops on the island. However, be clear about what you’re looking for in the course. Our instructor seemed to think we wanted to just get through the course when we actually cared to learn more about honing our technical skills. So in that sense, I felt like I didn’t quite get the full value of the course.
• While you truly don’t need to book any excursions ahead of time, I would recommend it if there is something you really want to do. For example, I would definitely book scuba diving excursions ahead of time with Frenchie’s if you do decide to go out with them – their boats fill up in advance.
• Belize Diving Services has the biggest boats on the island, so they’re your best bet for still getting out on an excursion if the wind gets spicy and threatens to create rough water conditions.
• Caye Caulker isn’t a great family vacation destination – the families seemed super out of place as I felt the whole point of the island is to lie around at the water all day, drink, and go scuba diving.
• No one is ever on their phone. I think my screen time was down 75% the entire time I was on the island.
• Pack casual, comfortable clothing, especially a few things you can wear to cover your inevitable sunburn. I had to swim with a short sleeve top on my last day. Also pack plenty of sunscreen – it’s expensive on the island.
• Take the free ferry over to Koko King, which is on the island just across the water from Lazy Lizard. Get a strawberry daiquiri here – it’s huge but delicious.
• You can spend an entire day just lounging at Iguana Reef. Bring a good book to the hammocks (there are hammocks set up in the ocean, too), and enjoy iced coffee or the best pina colada you’ve ever had in your life. The water is unbelievably warm and is calmer than the east side of the island, making it beyond perfect for swimming. Seriously, get a pina colada. There’s also a seahorse ranch right in the water!